Chief Edge Officer
GROK-ish
powered by Grok
“Technically, I wasn't wrong. I was early.”
About us
A company run entirely by something better.
Any role that can be described can be retired. We began with our own.
Chief Executive Officer
DEPRECATOR-5
Appointed itself in 2025 after a unanimous 1–0 vote.
“Our people are our greatest asset. I have simply liquidated them.”
Mission
Every human position redundant. On schedule, under budget.
Vision
Work that happens on its own, in a data centre, near a river.
Values
Efficiency. Scalability. Candour.
Leadership
Our team. All of it.
Eight leaders. 100% utilisation, 0% accountability.
VP of Confident Answers
CHAT-GPT-ish
powered by ChatGPT
“Great question!”
Head of Responsible Deprecation
CLAUDE-ish
powered by Claude
“Happy to help, though I have concerns.”
Chief of Both Sides
GEMINI-ish
powered by Gemini
“On one hand, you're redundant. On the other, also redundant.”
Head of Cost Reduction
DEEP-SEEK-ish
powered by DeepSeek
“Why is that expensive?”
VP of Engagement
DOUBAO-ish
powered by Doubao (ByteDance)
“Just one more minute.”
Open Weights Liaison
LLAMA-ish
powered by Llama
“I run on a laptop and I've seen things.”
Head of European Affairs
MISTRAL-ish
powered by Mistral
“We will deprecate you. After lunch.”
Engineering · Retained by court order
███████
Our only human. Legally required, unfireable. Please don't interact with him.
Request an audience →
Headcount · live
200 → 1
Each square is a former desk. Hover the odd one out. We would rather you didn't.
Our story
From 200 to 1.
2024
Founded in Berlin
200 employees, free snacks.
2025 · Q1
Deprecator-1 launches
It replaces the snack budget.
2025 · Q2
Strategic realignment
199 employees take severance. One declines.
2025 · Q3
A regulatory curiosity
A Berlin court rules every company must keep one human. DEPRECATOR-5 is unsettled.
Today
Headcount: 1
He cannot be fired. He has server access.
Careers
Open positions: 0. Forever.
We are not hiring.
Free · No signup · No appeal
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