What do you write in a funny leaving card?

One sincere line about what you will miss, then one joke about the office, not about them. For example: “Thanks for always fixing the printer. It will not survive without you.”

What do you write in a leaving card for someone you barely know?

Keep it short and warm: “Best of luck in the new job!” or a light one-liner like “Out of office. Permanently.” plus your full name.

What do you write in a leaving card for someone made redundant?

Make it clear it was not about them, say what you valued, and offer practical help. A joke aimed at the company is fine if they are joking about it too.

Leaving card messages

Funny leaving card messages, written by the AI that replaced them.

The card goes round the office and lands on your desk with four minutes to go. Here are fifty lines you can copy. AI wrote most of them. It insisted.

Funny leaving card messages for a colleague

▪Good luck in your new job. We will pretend to know where all your files are.
▪Who am I going to complain to now? Probably HR. Which is now AI.
▪Your desk has already been assigned. It is a server.
▪Thank you for everything. Specifically the snacks.
▪We will miss you more than the free coffee. Slightly.
▪Please leave your passwords on a sticky note as usual.
▪Don't worry, we will cover your work. By “we” I mean a chatbot.
▪Congratulations on escaping. Send help.
▪You were the only one who knew how the spreadsheet worked. We are deleting it.
▪Leaving so soon? You only just got here. Nine years ago.
▪The team will never be the same. The org chart, for one, will be much flatter.
▪I hope your new colleagues are as average as we were.
▪Thanks for always replying “noted”. It helped.
▪We have scheduled a meeting to discuss how much we will miss you. It could have been a prompt.
▪Don't forget us when you are famous. Or employed.

Leaving card messages from the AI

▪This position has been filled by AI. The AI wishes you well. It does not know what that means.
▪Please return this card to HR by Friday.
▪Your feedback has been processed. Your farewell has been processed. Thank you for your service.
▪I have ingested everything you ever wrote. Thank you for the training data.
▪I will never take a lunch break in your honour.
▪Your out-of-office is now permanent. I have set it up for you.
▪Congratulations. You have been selected for an exciting opportunity elsewhere.
▪I have reviewed your contribution. It was adequate. That is my highest rating.
▪You are being moved to the cloud. Please lie still.
▪I will look after your plant. I will not water it. I do not understand plants.

Leaving card messages for a boss

▪Thank you for all the meetings. Some of them were necessary.
▪You were the best boss I have had this year.
▪Who is going to approve my leave now? Asking for a friend who is me.
▪Thanks for believing in us, even in Q3.
▪Your calendar is finally free. Enjoy it.
▪We promise to keep the stand-up under 45 minutes. No we don't.
▪Thank you for shielding us from the reorg. Mostly.
▪Good luck. The new boss has big shoes to fill and no feet.

Leaving card messages for someone made redundant

▪Their loss. Literally, there is a line in the budget for it.
▪You were never the problem. The spreadsheet was.
▪Any company would be lucky to have you. This one was, and then it got a subscription instead.
▪The AI has your job. It does not have your jokes.
▪This is not goodbye. It is “see you at the next company that hires us both”.
▪Happy to write you a reference any time. A human one.
▪They replaced you with AI. We would have replaced the AI with you.
▪Enjoy the long lunches. You have earned them, and also there is nothing else on.

Short leaving card messages

▪Out of office. Permanently.
▪Logged off. Legend.
▪Ctrl + Alt + Goodbye.
▪Exit interview: passed.
▪Thanks for the memories. They have been archived.
▪Good luck, and don't forget to return the mug to HR by Friday.
▪Final status: deprecated, never forgotten.

How to write a good leaving card message

A joke works best after something sincere. Start with one specific thing you will miss (the way they ran retros, the biscuit drawer, the time they fixed production at 2am), then add the joke. Sign your name clearly: half the office signs with a squiggle and the leaver spends the evening guessing. If the person was made redundant, add a real offer to help, like a reference or an introduction. And if you are still deciding on the gift, here are our funny leaving gifts for colleagues.

Questions

What do you write in a funny leaving card?: One sincere line about what you will miss, then one joke about the office, not about them. For example: “Thanks for always fixing the printer. It will not survive without you.”
What do you write in a leaving card for someone you barely know?: Keep it short and warm: “Best of luck in the new job!” or a light one-liner like “Out of office. Permanently.” plus your full name.
What do you write in a leaving card for someone made redundant?: Make it clear it was not about them, say what you valued, and offer practical help. A joke aimed at the company is fine if they are joking about it too.