Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Academic Research Lab Principal Investigator jobs? · Latest report #ax9acdty
Your job has an expiration date
October 27, 2029
In 3 yearsYou secure the grants, but the AI publishes the breakthroughs.
Grant-chaser, paper-polisher, and professional committee-room survivor.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Grant writing and data analysis at lightspeed.
squeeze.you▸ SCHOLAR-BOT X9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARSAI's Special Power
secures funding via automated persuasive neural networks
Manage lab grants, oversee PhD students, and write endless peer-reviewed publications. Your ego is your only unique asset.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still gaslight a department chair into giving you more lab space.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Language models write your funding bids better than your graduate students.
Month 7
Sensors track all reagent levels and order supplies automatically.
Month 16
Algorithms handle all reviewer responses with ruthless, emotionless efficiency.
Year 2.2
Students replaced by software suites that generate findings from raw data.
Year 3 · D-Day
The lab runs perfectly without your confusing administrative oversight.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.4%
99 percent
Grant success rate
zero liters
Coffee consumed
ten thousand
Papers written
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our peer-review auto-rejection service.
Discussion
