Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Academic Researcher jobs? · Latest report #7tuhhzuy
Your job has an expiration date
April 21, 2027
In 6 monthsYour peer-reviewed struggle against p-hacking is officially a compute cycle.
Professional seeker of truth and p-values under 0.05
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Mining insights faster than your tenure clock.








help!you▸ SCHOLARBOT V9▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates the entire literature review
You hunt for statistically significant patterns in data and write papers that nobody reads.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still find the one funny typo in your 40-page methodology section.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 9
Smart scripts scrub your messy datasets into perfect order instantly.
Week 5
Algorithms digest every published paper in existence to find gaps.
Week 11
Software writes convincing funding bids that hit every internal metric.
Month 4
Digital models simulate human psychological responses without the waiting.
Month 6 · D-Day
The machine generates the final paper while you pack your books.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.2%
too many
Papers written
infinite
Citations per millisecond
lethal
Coffee consumed
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to open-access paywalls.
Discussion