Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Acquisitions Officer jobs? · Latest report #fqg6n8hu
Your job has an expiration date
May 20, 2029
In 2 years, 7 monthsYou track down deals; our algorithms just track the paperwork to death.
Professional deal-hunter with a flair for defense margins.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated growth through ruthless capital allocation.
oof.youAI▸ ACQUIREBOT 7.0▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
calculates valuation models while you sleep
You hunt for companies to buy and manage legal due diligence. You navigate complex defense industry acquisition regulations.
The one thing AI can't do
You possess the social grace to win over a grumpy founder at lunch.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
The AI begins scraping public records for potential targets.
Month 5
Sensors and software parse financial logs to replace human auditors.
Month 13
An automated legal engine handles all defense-specific filing requirements.
Year 1.9
Machine-generated term sheets eliminate the need for manual contract drafting.
Year 2.6 · D-Day
Software handles the final closing and integration without human intervention.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 94.1%
4,200
Cold calls ignored
Zero
Due diligence errors
Minimal
Acquisition cost
Your severance
A one-way ticket to a non-extradition tax haven.
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