Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Admissions Manager jobs? · Latest report #5yjknu4a
Your job has an expiration date
October 22, 2028
In 2 yearsYour spreadsheet-gazing does not require a human heart to function.
Gatekeeper of the ivory tower's digital waiting room.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Processing applications without the pesky empathy.
toast.youAI▸ ENROLLO-MATIC 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARSAI's Special Power
filters ten thousand applicants in seconds
You review student applications, verify credentials, and manage enrollment quotas while chasing down missing high school transcripts.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still explain to a sobbing applicant why they were rejected personally.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 5
Optical scanners ingest all physical transcripts into the cloud instantly.
Month 5
Neural nets predict applicant success rates better than your gut feeling.
Month 10
Personalized rejection emails are sent without you clicking a button.
Month 17
Professors view pre-ranked student profiles directly from the machine.
Year 2 · D-Day
The admissions department is now an API that never sleeps.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
12,000
Applications processed per minute
14 percent
Human error rate in transcript checks
Zero
Empathy simulation level
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our rejection-letter generator.
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