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Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Advancement Professional jobs? · Latest report #ipqu5uys
Your job has an expiration date
April 16, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsYou sell future buildings by drinking expensive lukewarm coffee with strangers.
Professional guilt-tripper for ivy-covered brick buildings.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated guilt trips for richer alumni.
bzzt.youAI▸ DONORRELATE AI 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
triggers emotional donation spikes via dynamic messaging
You track alumni relationships and solicit major financial gifts through networking events and personalized donor cultivation cycles.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the exact moment a wealthy alumnus feels nostalgic enough to write a check.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Algorithms rank donor sentiment using social media and event attendance.
Month 4
Emails write themselves based on the donor's past interest points.
Month 9
AI chatbots handle small donor inquiries with simulated institutional warmth.
Month 13
Software predicts the perfect ask amount before you even arrive.
Month 18 · D-Day
The system sends digital gift requests directly to donor phones.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
2400 kcal
Average donor-lunch calories
42 percent
Gifts secured by LinkedIn stalking
12 units
Polite rejections processed hourly
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to the school's digital newsletter.
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