Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Afterschool Worker jobs? · Latest report #t8rr57aa
Your job has an expiration date
December 1, 2030
In 4 years, 1 monthKeeping children occupied until parents return is a temporary, non-scalable glitch.
Professional referee of indoor tag and crayon-based disputes.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Superior patience, zero snack-break requirements.
ow.you▸ KIDGUARD-7▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARS, 1 MONTHAI's Special Power
deploys calming holograms at high velocity
You monitor groups of energetic children and guide their play until the workday ends.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense the exact moment a tantrum starts before the first scream erupts.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 13
Sensors and cameras now handle child pickup verification without human intervention.
Month 11
Inventory-aware kiosks replace human hands for allergen-checked snack distribution.
Month 22
Sensors monitor play zones to flag dangerous behaviors automatically.
Year 2.9
Visual projection systems guide group activities to minimize unstructured conflict.
Year 4 · D-Day
Human supervision is fully offloaded to the optimized KidGuard system.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.3%
8/10
Average kid-chaos index
400%
Snack-time efficiency gain
2 minutes
Human patience remaining
Your severance
One free subscription to a mindfulness app.
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