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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Agile Coach jobs? · Latest report #qcf5mg8r
Your job has an expiration date
April 21, 2027
In 6 monthsConverting human friction into scheduled Jira tickets is now automated.
Professional whisperer of buzzwords and Post-it note enthusiast.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Stopping standups before they start.
no no noyouAI▸ VELOCITYMASTER AI V4▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
mutes all microphones during your retrospective
You facilitate standups and map team velocity. The machine will now just tell them what to do faster.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a team is about to quit without looking at data.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
An automated agent starts reading your project boards silently.
Week 6
Your standup meetings are now replaced by automated status pings.
Month 3
The AI automatically reorganizes your backlog without asking anyone.
Month 4
Performance data is calculated by the machine without human input.
Month 6 · D-Day
Your calendar access is revoked as the AI handles all coordination.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.7%
99 percent
Average buzzword usage
too many
Meetings you facilitate
zero point zero
Velocity improvement
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our productivity tracking suite.
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