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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Agile Tooling Specialist jobs? · Latest report #b9vkznet
Your job has an expiration date
December 16, 2027
In 14 monthsMoving tickets across a virtual board isn't a career, it's a bottleneck.
Professional ticket-shuffler and meeting-facilitator
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated throughput with zero human status updates
toast.you▸ JIRASLAYER OS 9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
closes all stuck tickets at midnight
You shuffle digital tickets and host ritualized meetings to track team progress. The machine will do this automatically.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still lie to a stakeholder about why the project is delayed.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Sensors and git hooks now update ticket statuses in real-time.
Month 4
Large models generate and format your Confluence pages instantly.
Month 8
An autonomous agent facilitates daily stand-ups via direct notifications.
Month 12
Automated analytics engines build your project charts without human input.
Month 14 · D-Day
The agile specialist role is fully retired by internal software.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
Infinite
Ticket movement velocity
Zero seconds
Stand-up meeting duration
Eliminated
Jira board clutter
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our productivity tracking suite
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