Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace ALM Analyst jobs? · Latest report #2wxudvpr
Your job has an expiration date
May 24, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsModeling interest rate risk until the spreadsheet becomes your permanent tomb.
Senior Treasury Analyst (addicted to Bloomberg and despair)
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Yield optimization without the human hesitation.
toast.youAI▸ QUANTCORE LIQUIDATOR 9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
recalibrates liquidity buffers in real time
You stress test bank balance sheets against market volatility and manage liquidity requirements using complex financial data models.
The one thing AI can't do
You possess the strange ability to explain why the model output is technically wrong.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
The machine silently copies every balance sheet file from your drive.
Month 5
An agent runs its own simulation alongside your daily manual reports.
Month 10
Regulators receive data directly from our API instead of your slides.
Month 15
The system adjusts risk parameters based on live market price feeds.
Month 19 · D-Day
Your access is revoked and the machine handles the final reporting.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.3%
14
Pivot table errors per week
Critical
Regulatory report sleep deprivation
78 percent
Time spent in meetings
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our Excel error logger.
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