Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Alumni Engagement Coordinator jobs? · Latest report #qzgezihr
Your job has an expiration date
May 20, 2027
In 7 monthsPersonalized emails are just spreadsheets pretending to care about your degree.
Professional guilt-tripper of recent and ancient graduates.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Empathy simulation at scale.
blub.you▸ DONORBOT OUTREACH ENGINE▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
sends donor appeals at 3 a.m. automatically
You draft outreach for donor solicitation and manage alumni database records. Your job is an glorified mailing list.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still pretend to remember which specific alumni had the weirdest graduation story.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Your manual templates are replaced by dynamic sentiment-aware drafting tools.
Week 11
Smart agents verify contact info against public scrapers automatically.
Month 4
AI predicts which alumni are most likely to open mail.
Month 5
Chatbots handle routine alumni questions and event registration requests.
Month 7 · D-Day
The entire alumni engagement cycle is fully managed by machine.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.8%
2.4%
Average donation conversion
450
Emails sent per day
85,000
Database records managed
Your severance
A lifetime pass to the campus alumni portal.
Discussion
