Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Alumni Magazine Journalist jobs? · Latest report #k623i7vi
Your job has an expiration date
December 16, 2027
In 14 monthsChronicling mid-life crises until the algorithm decides you're irrelevant.
Professional curator of polite institutional propaganda.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Mining nostalgia at optimal efficiency.
no no noyouAI▸ ALUMNI-GEN AI V4.2▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
generates emotionally resonant puff pieces automatically
You chase down career updates and sentimental anecdotes for glossy quarterly digests. Your professional legacy is essentially a glorified mailing list with nice typography.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still awkwardly ask a donor for more money without triggering a red flag.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Our scraper begins monitoring every LinkedIn update from your alumni database.
Month 3
AI models generate draft bios that sound more accomplished and professional than the originals.
Month 6
Legacy data is fed into an obituary templating engine to standardize local departures.
Month 10
You transition to a reviewer role, silently correcting the AI's subtle stylistic glitches.
Month 14 · D-Day
The system goes live, and your login credentials are revoked without a farewell article.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.2%
Infinite
Word count capacity
99%
Nostalgia extraction rate
Zero
Human error probability
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to the magazine you no longer write.
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