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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Alumni Relations Officer jobs? · Latest report #jvn44dnv
Your job has an expiration date
December 9, 2027
In 14 monthsTurning former students into recurring revenue targets without the awkward small talk.
Professional guilt-tripper for people who peaked in 2012.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Extracting funds with zero emotional friction
split.youAI▸ DONORBOT PROSPECTOR 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
harvests donations through targeted guilt-tripping
You track donor data and spam alumni to extract small donations for university athletic programs and campus events.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still remember which donors need a drink before they open their checkbooks.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Software automatically scans social media to find rich alumni.
Month 4
AI chatbots replace all your polite and repetitive email replies.
Month 8
Algorithms generate bespoke donation requests that match donor life stages.
Month 12
Virtual campus tours replace physical homecoming events to save cash.
Month 14 · D-Day
The system finishes donor outreach and you are officially disconnected.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.7%
45 minutes
Coffee-break duration
98 percent
Emails ignored
12 dollars
Budget per student
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to the university's email newsletter.
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