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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Amateur Paddle Player jobs? · Latest report #xnbrrw5w
Your job has an expiration date
October 14, 2056
In 30 yearsYour mid-match banter is the only thing keeping the robots away.
Recreational warrior of the glass-walled box
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Precision lobs that never miss the corner.
split.you▸ COURTMASTER 3000▸ RARITY · MYTHIC▸ DEPRECATION IN 30 YEARSAI's Special Power
tracks every ball with perfect geometry
You spend weekends on glass-walled courts hitting plastic balls with foam paddles. You obsess over drop shots and lobs.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still argue with the opponent about whether that ball was truly out.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Sensors map the court to track ball trajectories.
Year 3.3
Automated drones call the lines to end your disputes.
Year 12
Integrated court systems retrieve and feed balls automatically.
Year 22
Projectors create perfect opponents that never tire.
Year 30 · D-Day
Your physical presence on the court is rendered unnecessary.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.8%
14 per set
Average unforced errors
2.4 litres
Post-game beer intake
98 percent
Court occupancy rate
Your severance
One free pass to the nearest tennis court
Discussion
