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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Animatronic Mascot jobs? · Latest report #cmwkdij8
Your job has an expiration date
November 15, 2029
In 3 years, 1 monthYour suit smells like failure and dead children, but mostly mechanical inefficiency.
Professional jump-scare enthusiast and birthday party liability
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Less haunt, more automation.
toast.you▸ FAZREPLACEMENT-V9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 1 MONTHAI's Special Power
enforces mandatory fun via remote locking
Performing repetitive choreographed songs and navigating predictable floor plans for entertainment. You are a glorified motorized coat rack.
The one thing AI can't do
You are the only one who truly knows which floorboard creaks to trigger terror.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors map your path to replace erratic animatronic lurches with smooth, efficient motion profiles.
Month 10
Voice synthesis replaces your pre-recorded tapes with adaptive, brand-safe customer engagement responses.
Month 20
Replace heavy, prone-to-failure hydraulic frames with silent, low-maintenance carbon-fiber modular actuators.
Year 2.5
Firmware locks prevent you from wandering off-stage or engaging in any non-scripted erratic behavior.
Year 3.1 · D-Day
The mascot is decommissioned and converted into a digital hologram for maximum revenue capture.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.8%
Zero
Jumpscares per hour
99 percent
Internal mechanical rot
Infinite
Child entertainment efficiency
Your severance
A lifetime supply of greasy lukewarm pizza coupons.
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