Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Applied Research Fellow jobs? · Latest report #3jhu8kan
Your job has an expiration date
May 24, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsEnjoy your final literature review while the GPU hallucinates your findings.
Expert at turning grant money into PDFs no one reads
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Academic output without the peer review
shred.you▸ SYNTHSCHOLAR X-9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
cites nonexistent sources with total confidence
You spend your days reading papers, running simulations, and fighting with poorly documented open-source code. It is mostly just glorified data-chasing with an academic filter.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still find the specific, obscure error in a legacy Python script.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
An agent will ingest your entire field of study to summarize every relevant paper instantly.
Month 3
Large language models will write and maintain your analysis scripts without needing dependency troubleshooting.
Month 8
The system will format, draft, and submit your findings to journals with perfect LaTeX precision.
Month 13
AI-generated reviewer personas will approve your output while you are still sleeping.
Month 19 · D-Day
Your access to the compute cluster is revoked as the research cycle closes permanently.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98%
2.4
Papers written per year
1,400
Coffee-induced anxiety spikes
89
Unread tabs in browser
Your severance
A one-year subscription to a paywalled journal archive.
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