Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Applied Statistician jobs? · Latest report #26bmidii
Your job has an expiration date
December 16, 2027
In 14 monthsTurning your complex variance into a simple 'delete' command.
Professional over-interpreter of p-values and confidence intervals.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
P-hacking, but faster and without the guilt.
squeeze.youAI▸ STATCRUNCHER PRO V9▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates away your entire p-value significance
You interpret datasets to influence business decisions. Soon, you will interpret why you are being phased out.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still lie to stakeholders about confidence levels with a straight human face.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Our system silently documents your chaotic file naming conventions to map your current workflow.
Month 4
Smart scripts begin scrubbing your datasets, removing the need for your manual cleansing rituals.
Month 7
Algorithms begin proposing models that you would have taken weeks to refine and iterate.
Month 10
Real-time visualization modules generate executive summaries that bypass your explanatory narrative entirely.
Month 14 · D-Day
Your access is revoked as our server confirms you are no longer statistically significant.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
4 cups
Coffee consumed per hypothesis
99.9%
Overfitting probability
Daily
Confidence intervals ignored
Your severance
A one-month subscription to a linear regression webinar.
Discussion
