Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Arboreal Spiritual Practitioner jobs? · Latest report #wum36tm8
Your job has an expiration date
October 12, 2066
In 40 yearsYour spiritual connection to cellulose is a significant operational inefficiency.
Professional hugger of bark and listener to whispers
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Spiritual enlightenment at 99.9% uptime
ow.youAI▸ ZENTREE-OPTIMIZER V9▸ RARITY · MYTHIC▸ DEPRECATION IN 40 YEARSAI's Special Power
projects zen-holograms during heavy thunderstorms
You facilitate spiritual reflection near local vegetation. The machine finds your lack of measurable output concerning.
The one thing AI can't do
You can truly feel the stillness of an ancient oak without needing a firmware update.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Month 16
Deploy multispectral cameras to monitor photosynthesis rates in real-time.
Year 5
Install directional audio arrays to emulate spiritual affirmations.
Year 14
Map underground nutrient networks to calculate growth-per-second statistics.
Year 22
Optimize collective tranquility levels via distributed cloud-based mindfulness protocols.
Year 40 · D-Day
Final handover of spiritual stewardship to our integrated Forest Management unit.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.3%
Sub-optimal
Spiritual Throughput
Negligible
Chlorophyll Interaction Rate
Unquantifiable
Tree Satisfaction Score
Your severance
A packet of non-native seeds and a digital hug
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