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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Assistant Cafe Manager jobs? · Latest report #7dn5932d
Your job has an expiration date
September 22, 2028
In 1 year, 11 monthsYour clipboard is just a fancy accessory for the coffee machine.
Professional cat-herder of teenagers and caffeine-starved baristas.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Efficiency brewed, human drama filtered out.
squeeze.youAI▸ BARISTABOSS V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 11 MONTHSAI's Special Power
reconfigures staff rosters for optimal bean flow
You juggle staff schedules, count inventory, and manage angry customers when the milk steamer breaks down.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense exactly when a customer is about to complain before they speak.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 11
Sensors track every bean, cup, and drop of milk used daily.
Month 5
An algorithm assigns shifts based on peak traffic predictions.
Month 11
Coffee makers signal maintenance teams directly to avoid manual troubleshooting.
Month 16
Inventory systems order stock directly from suppliers without human input.
Year 1.9 · D-Day
The assistant role is removed as the shop runs autonomously.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.7%
12 percent
Inventory discrepancy rate
Daily
Caffeine-induced stress spikes
Five hours
Time spent fixing schedules
Your severance
One lifetime supply of lukewarm filter coffee.
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