Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Assistant Director Annual Giving jobs? · Latest report #dp4rzxz5
Your job has an expiration date
December 23, 2027
In 14 monthsMining alumni databases for spare change is a math problem, not charity.
Professional guilt-tripper for the ivy league elite.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Personalised solicitation for every wallet.
bzzt.youAI▸ DONORPROPHET 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
triggers donor guilt with hyper-targeted sentiment analysis
You draft donor emails, manage stewardship lists, and track engagement metrics for university fundraising campaigns.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still awkwardly navigate the social politics of alumni who think they own the building.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Smart software cleans your messy CRM data without human input.
Month 4
Generative models write emails that sound more sincere than you.
Month 8
An algorithm knows who is donating before they even decide.
Month 12
Dynamic bots handle all thank-you notes and acknowledgment letters.
Month 14 · D-Day
The entire giving department is reduced to a single server script.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.2%
0.04%
Cold outreach response rate
98%
Data entry fatigue score
12 minutes
Average apology email time
Your severance
One complimentary brick with your name on it.
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