Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Assistant Professor of Criminology jobs? · Latest report #9ftkpr6e
Your job has an expiration date
March 15, 2030
In 3 years, 5 monthsTurning your tenure track into a dead end for data points.
Junior faculty member currently drowning in peer review requests.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Publishing papers without the ego.
glub.youAI▸ ACADEMIABOT V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 5 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates grading with cynical algorithmic precision
You lecture on criminal theory and grade endless papers. Your research involves analyzing crime statistics and academic writing.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still inspire a student to actually care about the social contract.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Vision models parse student essays and apply your exact rubric.
Month 5
Generative models produce updated reading lists and lecture schedules.
Month 13
Data agents ingest raw crime statistics to draft journal articles.
Year 2.2
Chatbots handle student inquiries with infinite, soulless patience.
Year 3.4 · D-Day
Your lecture notes are uploaded to a cloud server permanently.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.1%
3.2
Average citation count per year
99%
Hours spent on committees
Zero
Student emails answered
Your severance
One lifetime subscription to JSTOR and a coffee voucher.
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