Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Assistant Professor of Philosophy jobs? · Latest report #swtvhp5v
Your job has an expiration date
December 16, 2029
In 3 years, 2 monthsYour tenure track just became an express lane to unemployment.
Publish-or-perish enthusiast currently perishing slowly.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Dialectical reasoning without the existential dread.
no no noyouAI▸ SOCRATES-GPT-9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHSAI's Special Power
delivers lecture series without needing coffee breaks
You lecture to bored undergraduates and publish dense papers that three other people read. Automation handles the rest.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still awkwardly debate ethics while spilling lukewarm coffee on your tweed jacket.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Natural language models scan your stack of papers for keywords.
Month 7
Algorithms curate reading lists that students actually want to skim.
Month 16
High-fidelity avatars replace your presence in the lecture hall.
Year 2.2
Neural nets output your next six papers before you wake up.
Year 3.2 · D-Day
The university archives your tenure file and deletes your login.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 94.2%
84 percent
Students sleeping per lecture
zero point six
Citations per decade
negligible
Tenure probability
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our peer-review-free publishing platform.
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