Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Associate Director Residential Life jobs? · Latest report #wppp862j
Your job has an expiration date
June 29, 2029
In 2 years, 8 monthsYou manage people who lose keys and cry about bad roommates.
Professional cat herder for transient eighteen-year-olds.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Dormitory order through superior logic and surveillance.
split.you▸ RESLIFE-AUTOMATON V9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 8 MONTHSAI's Special Power
resolves housing disputes using cold logic
You oversee student housing, handle roommate conflicts, and enforce university conduct policies. You juggle logistics and social drama.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense the specific tone of panic in a student’s voice at 3am.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Smart locks replace physical keys and human lockouts.
Month 5
Algorithms flag rule violations based on hall sensors.
Month 13
Virtual agents dictate roommate contracts to avoid drama.
Year 1.9
Self-optimizing systems manage all move-in schedules and assignments.
Year 2.7 · D-Day
Residential life functions fully without human oversight.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97%
400 percent
Roommate mediation efficiency
0.5 seconds
Key-fob issuance speed
Instantaneous
Student crisis response time
Your severance
One free dorm room in a basement level.
Discussion
