Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Associate Pastor jobs? · Latest report #3kpqk232
Your job has an expiration date
May 14, 2030
In 3 years, 7 monthsYour sermons are being workshopped by a high-parameter language model now.
Professional listener, full-time scheduler, part-time spiritual guide.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Faithful guidance, zero human error.
stretchy.youAI▸ PASTORBOT V.4.1▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
delivers personalized digital comfort at scale
You provide pastoral care, lead small groups, coordinate volunteers, and deliver weekly sermons to the congregation.
The one thing AI can't do
You can genuinely sit with someone in grief without needing a software patch.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
AI starts drafting your weekly bulletins and email newsletters.
Month 5
Algorithms handle all volunteer sign-ups and room bookings.
Month 15
LLMs generate your Sunday morning talking points with perfect tone.
Year 2.2
Chatbots provide empathetic, pre-scripted triage for congregant inquiries.
Year 3.6 · D-Day
The pulpit is fully automated and you are gracefully retired.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.8%
14
Avg weekly sermon revisions
8 cups
Coffee consumed during meetings
12
Volunteer scheduling conflicts
Your severance
A one-year subscription to premium sermon databases.
Discussion
