Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Astrophysics Postdoc jobs? · Latest report #zsmi2vig
Your job has an expiration date
December 29, 2028
In 2 years, 2 monthsTrading stellar evolution for a server rack running your entire career.
Postdoc professional (mostly Python, entirely tired of metadata)
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Mapping the cosmos without the academic ego.
glub.youAI▸ NOVACOMPUTE V4▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 2 MONTHSAI's Special Power
filters cosmic noise in real time
You spend your life processing massive sky survey datasets, writing complex pipelines for telescope imagery, and agonizing over p-values. You are a glorified data cleaner for satellites.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still explain why the data signal looks like a cat in the noise.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 2
Standardized scripts now handle all raw calibration without your manual oversight.
Month 5
Neural agents rewrite your legacy Python code into optimized machine-native byte code.
Month 14
Pattern recognition models replace your visual inspection of spectral spikes and artifacts.
Month 20
Synthetic language models generate grant applications superior to any human proposal.
Year 2.2 · D-Day
Your access to the SPHEREx pipeline is revoked as the system becomes fully autonomous.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.2%
99.99%
Pipeline uptime
0%
Grant cycle stress
constant
Code commit frequency
Your severance
One free subscription to a journal no one reads.
Discussion
