Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Athletic Equipment Manager jobs? · Latest report #cvbxj8rn
Your job has an expiration date
December 16, 2029
In 3 years, 2 monthsEnjoy your last season of folding jerseys before the machines take over.
Gatekeeper of the smelly practice field laundry room.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated gear issuance and sanitization for athletes.
brr.you▸ LOCKERROOM-OS V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHSAI's Special Power
restocks helmets before the players finish practice
You track inventory, organize heavy pads, and wash team uniforms. Machines will soon handle the entire cycle.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense a failing shoulder pad strap just by the way it hangs.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 12
RFID tags track every piece of gear on every player.
Month 8
Inventory cabinets automatically dispense pads based on player height data.
Month 20
Industrial washers sort and sanitize uniforms without human intervention.
Year 2.5
High-res cameras identify micro-cracks in helmets faster than human eyes.
Year 3.2 · D-Day
The warehouse robots manage all gear logistics until the season ends.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
42
Jerseys folded per hour
0.01 percent
Pad safety checks skipped
High
Lost sock probability
Your severance
Two slightly used practice jerseys and a gym bag.
Discussion
