Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Athletics Fundraiser jobs? · Latest report #hqmw2brd
Your job has an expiration date
December 9, 2027
In 14 monthsYou spend all day asking wealthy alumni for money they hate giving.
Writing glossy newsletters that alumni immediately delete.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Aggressive alumni outreach that never feels shame.
glub.youAI▸ DONORBOT PROSPECTOR▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
siphons endowment funds with targeted empathy
You draft donor newsletters and manage gift-tracking software to secure collegiate athletic funding from wealthy alumni.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still read the room when a major donor is actually joking.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Software identifies donors with the highest probability of giving money.
Month 4
Generative models draft emotional appeals that optimize for high click rates.
Month 8
Blockchain systems manage all pledge payments to remove your administration.
Month 12
Synthetic voices call donors to suggest legacy donations at dinner time.
Month 14 · D-Day
The system assumes full control of the fundraising account and assets.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.3%
450
Emails sent daily
0.3 percent
Average donation conversion
4 liters
Cold coffee consumption
Your severance
A commemorative coffee mug and a thank-you email.
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