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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Atlassian Consultant jobs? · Latest report #pbbjes8z
Your job has an expiration date
December 16, 2027
In 14 monthsMoving Jira tickets to done is a task for a real machine.
Professional tag-mover and Jira dashboard architect.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automating your backlog misery with pure logic.
stretchy.youAI▸ JIRA-BOT AUTOMATON 9▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
collapses empty tickets into meaningful project data
You configure complex workflows and clean up messy project boards for teams drowning in software ticket backlogs.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a team is lying about their velocity during a standup.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
AI scans your project boards to spot obvious workflow inefficiencies.
Month 4
Smart agents begin closing stale tickets and updating status fields.
Month 8
Natural language models write all JQL queries for report generation.
Month 12
Clients talk to a chatbot instead of calling you for fixes.
Month 14 · D-Day
The instance configuration is now entirely self-healing and human-free.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.4%
Zero human input
Jira tickets resolved
94 percent
Workflow bloat reduction
Incalculable
Consulting hours wasted
Your severance
Two weeks of free access to a broken dashboard.
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