Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Attractions Manager jobs? · Latest report #bkgrgczu
Your job has an expiration date
May 19, 2029
In 2 years, 7 monthsA glorious career in managing laser tag malfunctions and birthday tears.
The brave sentinel of birthday cakes and broken machines.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Seamless logistics for your miniature empire.
split.you▸ FUNCENTER-OPTIMIZER 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
reconfigures staff rosters mid-shift
Coordinates staff shift rosters and tracks consumable inventory for a chaotic venue of screaming children.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still perform the complex emotional labor of explaining why the slide is closed.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
An algorithmic engine begins predicting staffing needs based on historical attendance rather than your gut.
Month 7
IoT scales installed under prize bins report stock levels directly to regional procurement servers.
Month 16
Automated kiosks handle staff check-ins while a localized AI manages conflict-free scheduling changes.
Year 2.1
Computer vision monitors identify broken machines and trigger automated repair tickets without human intervention.
Year 2.6 · D-Day
The facility now runs as an autonomous, self-scheduling system that no longer requires a manager.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
14,000+
Shift-change complaints handled
99.2%
Ticket stock accuracy
34%
Staff ghosting rate
Your severance
Two hundred unredeemable arcade tickets and a high-five.
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