Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Axe Throwing Coach jobs? · Latest report #dmrjxdey
Your job has an expiration date
May 19, 2029
In 2 years, 7 monthsPaying to stand in a cage and throw hardware is peak obsolescence.
Safety monitor of the drunk and the dangerously imprecise.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Precision kinetics for the modern gladiator.



oof.youAI▸ TIMBERTARGET-X5▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
calibrates trajectories to hit bullseyes every time
You teach intoxicated patrons to throw hatchets at wood targets while ensuring they do not amputate their own feet. You are a glorified clipboard with a safety whistle.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense exactly how much beer is in the customer's blood before they start swinging.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Replace the whiteboard with automated sensor arrays that log throw accuracy to a cloud leaderboard.
Month 5
Install vision-AI cameras to flag unsafe throwing stances before the human coach even notices.
Month 13
Deploy gantry-mounted magnetic arms to retrieve hatchets, eliminating the need for a human to approach lanes.
Year 1.9
Introduce haptic-feedback handles that guide the patron's swing, removing the need for verbal instruction.
Year 2.6 · D-Day
The cage is fully automated, removing the need for human supervision or liability management.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95%
4.2%
Accidental toe strikes
89%
Patron boredom rate
Daily
Hatchet sharpening cycles
Your severance
A blunt hatchet and a lifetime supply of sawdust.
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