Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Balloon Decorator jobs? · Latest report #ame93cc5
Your job has an expiration date
October 23, 2028
In 2 yearsYour career is just hot air waiting to be popped by robots.
Professional air-pumper, tape-wielder, and ribbon-untangler.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect inflation every time, zero pops.
ow.you▸ BALLOONBOT ASSEMBLER V2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARSAI's Special Power
constructs complex balloon sculptures in seconds
You inflate latex spheres and arrange them into arches, columns, and centerpieces for events using wire and tape.
The one thing AI can't do
You can manually fix the sag in a balloon arch when the venue vents blow.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 9
Smart air pumps calibrate inflation to the exact millimetre.
Month 4
Pre-made snapping arch frames remove the need for measuring tapes.
Month 11
Robotic grippers automate the tedious knot-tying process for every single balloon.
Month 18
Automated units output complete garlands in high-speed factory lines.
Year 2 · D-Day
Human decorators are transitioned to managing the fleet of assembly bots.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
42 percent
Latex allergy probability
Critical high
Average popping anxiety
Infinite hours
Time spent untangling ribbons
Your severance
One free helium tank and a staple gun.
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