Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Balloon Vendor jobs? · Latest report #gihik7qy
Your job has an expiration date
October 20, 2030
In 4 yearsYour inventory is literally full of hot air and so is your career.
Outdoor logistics operator specializing in helium-based impulse retail
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Inflation efficiency for every venue.
splat.you▸ ORBITA-VENDOR 9000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARSAI's Special Power
inflates four hundred balloons during pre-show rush
You inflate latex spheres and tie them to weights at crowded venues. You rely on impulse purchases from distracted parents.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still comfort a crying child who lost their balloon to the sky.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors map venue exit densities to predict peak demand cycles without your intuition.
Month 10
High-speed pneumatic knotters eliminate the need for your clumsy manual dexterity.
Year 1.9
Smart-crates automatically swap depleted helium canisters and restock inventory based on color popularity.
Year 2.7
Software adjusts prices instantly as the concert crowd spills out toward the transport hub.
Year 4 · D-Day
The unit is deployed and you are officially redundant in the retail ecosystem.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.7%
0.1%
Pop Rate
0.4sec
Tying Speed
100%
Human Boredom
Your severance
A lifetime supply of helium and one knot-tying manual.
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