Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Banana Bender jobs? · Latest report #2sj4cnu7
Your job has an expiration date
August 23, 2030
In 3 years, 10 monthsStraightening nature one fruit at a time is peak human inefficiency.
Industrial-grade curvature specialist, defender of straight produce.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect fruit geometry every time.
oof.youAI▸ CURVE-CORRECT 9000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 10 MONTHSAI's Special Power
straightens the entire inventory in seconds
You align curved bananas into uniform crates for shipping. It is a slow, manual process prone to bruising.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the subtle scent of a perfectly ripened fruit from across the warehouse.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 7
Sensors identify the degree of curvature in each passing banana.
Month 10
Robotic arms remove fruit that does not meet the standards.
Year 1.9
Piston-driven foam pads apply gentle, uniform pressure to straightness.
Year 3
Cameras verify the result against strict geometric requirements.
Year 3.8 · D-Day
The conveyor belt is fully automated and you are repurposed elsewhere.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.3%
0.5mm
Average curvature tolerance
42
Bananas bruised per hour
1200
Hourly bending capacity
Your severance
A lifetime supply of fruit smoothies.
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