Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Baseball Researcher jobs? · Latest report #42h39q2q
Your job has an expiration date
April 14, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsCataloging ancient stats while a CSV file already knows the outcome.
Amateur archivist of forgotten swings and dusty stats
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Turning legends into predictable data points.
oof.youAI▸ SABERMETRIC-SYNTH V4▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
autogenerates Hall of Fame probability reports
You mine historical box scores and obscure league data to feed content for broadcasts. An LLM already indexes these databases better than your human brain ever could.
The one thing AI can't do
You possess the irrational passion to explain why a 1920s pinch hitter matters.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Our system syncs with every digital library to index your entire research catalog instantly.
Month 4
NLP models replace your manual scouring by querying historical box scores directly from raw archives.
Month 8
Algorithms begin drafting the exact stat-heavy scripts that broadcasters currently request from you daily.
Month 13
Broadcasters stop emailing you because our terminal provides faster, more accurate data in real-time.
Month 18 · D-Day
Your access is revoked as the system autonomously updates all historical records without human oversight.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.8%
12000
Box scores processed per second
High
Human error probability
Zero
Joy derived from obscure trivia
Your severance
A vintage baseball card and a brisk handshake.
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