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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Bass Trombonist jobs? · Latest report #vrkf46k2
Your job has an expiration date
October 22, 2031
In 5 yearsYour floor-shaking low brass notes are now a digital plugin.
Professional bar-counter and low-end frequency generator.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect intonation without the breath support.
ow.youAI▸ ORCHESTRASYNTH 9000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 5 YEARSAI's Special Power
projects bone-rattling low frequencies with zero effort
You spend your life counting bars of silence to play massive, resonant pedal tones for a conductor.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still physically feel the room vibrate when you hit a double pedal Bb.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Tablets replace paper scores and automatically track the conductor's beat.
Month 10
Sensors map the room to predict the perfect vibration for every note.
Year 2.5
Gantry-mounted speakers simulate the physical air displacement of a trombone bell.
Year 3.8
Software interprets conductor gestures to adjust volume and tone automatically.
Year 5 · D-Day
The orchestra replaces the entire brass section with a central sound server.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98%
142
Tacet bars per shift
312
Slides per concert
100 percent
Lip-slur fatigue
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to a premium metronome app.
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