Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Beat Reporter jobs? · Latest report #q6a5deff
Your job has an expiration date
December 8, 2027
In 14 monthsYour live-tweeting of a 4-1 loss is now a server's background process.
Professional listener to hockey players dodging difficult questions.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Real-time sports data synthesis without the bias.
toast.youAI▸ PUCKLOGISTICS-V9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
aggregates post-game press conference audio into tweets
You track team stats, interview frustrated players, and write game recaps under crushing deadlines.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the exact moment a coach is about to lose their job.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 2
Sensors pull every stat from the arena feed instantly.
Month 3
Models process locker room audio for player mood patterns.
Month 6
AI writes game recaps before the final horn sounds.
Month 9
Networks flood feeds with instant commentary and game highlights.
Month 14 · D-Day
The press pass is revoked and replaced by API access.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
4
Average game recaps per week
12
Quotes captured by humans
0.3 seconds
Time until post-game summary
Your severance
One free subscription to the team's premium streaming app.
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