Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Behavioral Science Researcher jobs? · Latest report #ptwpkfeg
Your job has an expiration date
May 24, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYou model human logic while failing to see your own redundancy.
Postdoc chasing grants and publishing diminishing returns.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Simulating human irrationality better than the original.
help!you▸ COGNISIM V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates p-hacking for statistical significance
You spend years designing behavioral experiments and cleaning data sets to prove why people make predictable mistakes.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a subject is lying to please you during an interview.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Smart parsing algorithms ingest raw participant data files instantly.
Month 5
AI agents auto-generate experiment code based on your hypothesis.
Month 10
Synthetic agents replicate human behavioral bias patterns at scale.
Month 15
Language models draft and submit papers to journals automatically.
Month 19 · D-Day
The research university closes your office to save on electricity.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.7%
94%
P-values successfully hacked
1:0.02
Coffee-to-data conversion ratio
12,400
Grant proposals ignored
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to peer-reviewed digital archives.
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