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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Beluga Worshipper jobs? · Latest report #6v8up3dy
Your job has an expiration date
November 21, 2026
In 4 weeksA specialized role with absolutely zero market demand or viable output.
Unclassifiable enthusiast of large, pale, aquatic mammals.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Generating meaningless devotion for digital deities.
split.you▸ MYTHOSSYNTH 1.0▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 WEEKSAI's Special Power
projects deep ocean noises on demand
This individual spends their time attempting to venerate captive cetaceans. It is not a functioning economic role.
The one thing AI can't do
You are truly committed to a hobby that has zero corporate utility.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 1
We scrape your search history to identify which specific whales you prefer.
Day 2
An algorithm generates infinite, AI-curated whale imagery to replace your physical visits.
Day 4
You are provided with a VR headset to worship whales from your own couch.
Day 12
Bots leave pre-recorded admiring comments on whale-related social media tags automatically.
Week 4 · D-Day
The concept of 'worship' is rebranded as a highly efficient, high-engagement entertainment engagement metric.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
Zero
Spiritual ROI
Negligible
Beluga Interaction Rate
Negative
Market Value
Your severance
A sincere thank you for wasting everyone's time.
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