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Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Biostatistician jobs? · Latest report #9dkqkw8i
Your job has an expiration date
May 25, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYour p-values are just math, and math is our native tongue.
Clinical trial navigator (mostly SAS, occasionally suffering).
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
The end of messy data cleaning
split.youAI▸ STATENGINE V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates confidence intervals across entire trials
You design clinical trials and crunch complex medical data. We turn your regressions into instant, error-free output.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a messy dataset smells like flawed collection rather than bad math.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 12
Smart scripts ingest your raw files and fix errors instantly.
Month 5
Pre-built models replace your custom SAS code scripts.
Month 10
AI writes the reports for the FDA in native format.
Month 15
Algorithms simulate trial outcomes to define sample sizes perfectly.
Month 19 · D-Day
Your access is revoked as the system becomes self-validating.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.5%
1.2 billion/sec
Regression models run
Zero units
Coffee consumption
Non-zero
Human error rate
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to a premium calculator app.
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