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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Boarding School House Parent jobs? · Latest report #i56dutw5
Your job has an expiration date
October 22, 2031
In 5 yearsWatching other people's children is a high-liability error waiting to happen.
Professional emotional stabilizer for moody teenagers in plaid.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Total behavioral management for your academic asset
oof.youAI▸ DORM-GUARDIAN AI-V4▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 5 YEARSAI's Special Power
calibrates social hierarchy in real time
You manage dormitory routines, enforce house rules, and handle late-night medical or emotional crises for adolescent students.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the exact moment a teenager lies by the shift in their posture.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Motion and audio sensors monitor dormitory hallways and common areas.
Month 12
Automated door locks and check-in portals eliminate your nightly patrols.
Year 2
Algorithms flag social friction before it escalates into actual arguments.
Year 3
Interactive screens deliver house rules and de-escalate student disputes.
Year 4
Remote-managed health pods handle medical incidents and triage students.
Year 5 · D-Day
The house is fully self-regulated by central oversight.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 92%
2.4 weekly
Average crisis wake-ups
98 percent
Tantrum suppression rate
Consistent
House rule enforcement
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our parent-monitoring app.
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