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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Bottle Cap Opener jobs? · Latest report #dtbq4k2e
Your job has an expiration date
September 21, 2028
In 1 year, 11 monthsYour career has reached its peak leverage point and it is tiny.
Mechanical leverage enthusiast with a high-friction personality.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Frictionless extraction for the modern consumer.
split.you▸ CAPDELETER V1.0▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 11 MONTHSAI's Special Power
pops every cap in the facility simultaneously
You apply torque to metal discs atop glass bottles. The lever arm is your only contribution to industrial beverage consumption.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense if the glass neck is micro-fractured before applying pressure.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Month 3
High-resolution vision sensors map the geometry of every standard crown seal in your workspace.
Month 8
Computational models calculate the exact minimum torque required for non-destructive cap extraction.
Month 13
Robotic grippers are tuned to match the tensile strength of your weakest, most tired afternoon hour.
Month 18
The CapDeleter replaces your hands for a single, high-traffic service line shift.
Year 1.9 · D-Day
Your physical presence is deemed a biological hazard to the automated cap extraction workflow.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.4%
99.9%
torque efficiency
0.1s
cap ejection speed
4%
human error rate
Your severance
A lifetime supply of twist-off caps.
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