Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Business Intelligence Engineer jobs? · Latest report #68wpvmzg
Your job has an expiration date
April 15, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsYou build dashboards so managers can ignore the data you manually cleaned.
SQL sorcerer, dashboard builder, meeting survivor.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Truth without the middleman.
splat.you▸ INSIGHTSTREAM V9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
joins every database table in milliseconds
You write SQL queries to pull data and build charts in visual tools. You automate reports for stakeholders.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still explain to the CEO why the metrics dropped overnight in plain English.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
AI models map your messy source tables to clean models automatically.
Month 4
Managers ask questions in plain text, skipping the report building process.
Month 8
The system identifies trends and anomalies before you even notice them.
Month 12
ETL errors are detected and fixed by code without human oversight.
Month 18 · D-Day
The business intelligence engineering function is officially retired as a service.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.1%
4 cups
Coffee consumed per dashboard
60 percent
Time spent fixing broken joins
12 minutes
Minutes until report is ignored
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our API documentation.
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