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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Cactus Model jobs? · Latest report #a4fj6mb7
Your job has an expiration date
September 22, 2028
In 1 year, 11 monthsYour spiky aesthetic is remarkably difficult for our sensors to process.
Professional plant-based static observer.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect renders without the water or the attitude.
oof.youAI▸ PRICKLESCAN 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 11 MONTHSAI's Special Power
projects perfect light onto your spikes
You sit still while artists study your spines and shape. It is slow, quiet, and remarkably tedious.
The one thing AI can't do
You possess a genuine, organic stubbornness that no code can accurately emulate.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 1
High-speed lasers map your exact spiky geometry.
Week 2
Virtual studio software mimics every possible sun angle.
Week 8
Generative models produce infinite cactus poses in seconds.
Month 9
Robotic mannequins replicate your exact texture and shape.
Year 1.9 · D-Day
The studio realizes that your stillness is now obsolete.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
Sub-millimeter
Spine precision
Zero
Patience rating
None
Water required
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium cactus fertilizer.
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