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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Café Assistant Manager jobs? · Latest report #hmerc494
Your job has an expiration date
March 16, 2030
In 3 years, 5 monthsManaging a caffeine addiction for strangers is not a career, it’s cargo.
Master of spreadsheets, milk inventory, and angry Yelp replies.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect pours, zero moods, endless uptime.
stretchy.youAI▸ BARISTAMANAGER-PRO V4▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 5 MONTHSAI's Special Power
restocks milk and insults before you arrive
You handle staff scheduling, inventory logs, cash deposits, and resolve customer complaints about foam consistency.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a regular is actually having a genuinely bad day.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Smart software generates schedules based on real-time foot traffic data.
Month 7
Sensors in storage racks trigger automatic bean and syrup reordering.
Month 16
Removing paper money eliminates your daily trips to the bank.
Year 2.5
Automated arms handle extraction and milk steaming with zero waste.
Year 3.4 · D-Day
The café operates as a fully autonomous, silent dispensing unit.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
too high
Average shift stress
constant
Coffee spill frequency
binary
Customer complaint resolution
Your severance
One lifetime supply of expired loyalty card stamps.
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