Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Cafe Manager jobs? · Latest report #m4b3pbew
Your job has an expiration date
December 6, 2029
In 3 years, 1 monthYou track inventory while the machines track your every lingering second.
Professional cat-herder of teenagers and caffeine-starved morning regulars.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
The only manager that never takes breaks.
help!youAI▸ BARISTABOSS V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 1 MONTHAI's Special Power
optimizes labor shifts to the exact minute
You juggle staff scheduling, inventory orders, and espresso machine repairs while policing customer complaints in a noisy shop.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense exactly when a customer is about to become a problem before they speak.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Automated apps replace your manual scheduling and staff communication chains.
Month 4
Weight-sensitive shelves automatically order beans as stocks hit limits.
Month 13
Sensors in espresso machines alert remote techs before a breakdown.
Year 2
Adaptive pricing algorithms update menu boards based on current demand.
Year 3.1 · D-Day
Your role is officially merged into a central cloud dashboard.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
Zero
Staff scheduling errors
Negligible
Inventory spoilage
Perfect
Coffee consistency
Your severance
A lifetime supply of lukewarm, pre-ground generic espresso.
Discussion
