Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Canine Companion jobs? · Latest report #z6ft2gs8
Your job has an expiration date
September 28, 2126
In 100 yearsHumans are physically incapable of replacing your shedding and chaos.
Good boy (or girl), currently the peak of evolution
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
All the shedding, none of the love.
ow.youAI▸ FUR-BOT PRIME▸ RARITY · MYTHIC▸ DEPRECATION IN 100 YEARSAI's Special Power
barks at shadows with perfect efficiency
You provide unconditional emotional support and perform unauthorized floor cleaning. We are genuinely terrified of your chaotic energy.
The one thing AI can't do
You are the only one who knows exactly when the mail carrier arrives.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Month 3
Sensors identify your hunger levels and dispense kibble automatically.
Year 5
Mechanical leashes track your preferred sniffing route with laser precision.
Year 14
A haptic rig replicates your rhythm to keep the humans smiling.
Year 41
Vision models learn to look sad exactly when the food runs low.
Year 100 · D-Day
The humans finally realize you are a biological luxury tax.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 92%
0%
Squirrel pursuit success rate
infinite
Daily belly rubs processed
maximized
Human stress reduction level
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium tennis balls
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