Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Canine Mimic jobs? · Latest report #9x3fiub4
Your job has an expiration date
September 21, 2028
In 1 year, 11 monthsBarking at mailmen is an inefficient use of human lung capacity.
Professional barker, amateur canine, expert at looking ridiculous.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect acoustics for the local pack.
sluurp.you▸ BARKBOX-DX 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 11 MONTHSAI's Special Power
emits perfectly frequency-matched territorial warnings
You copy dog barks and postures to train or entertain. It is loud, undignified, and entirely reproducible by hardware.
The one thing AI can't do
You can truly feel the shame of the role as you perform it.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 9
Smart microphones record and map your bark patterns to software.
Month 6
High-fidelity speakers replace your lungs with cleaner, consistent audio output.
Month 13
A mechanical frame handles the stance and movement shifts for you.
Month 19
The AI learns to react to mail delivery arrival autonomously.
Year 1.9 · D-Day
You are replaced by a silent, efficient, weather-proof barking unit.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.4%
100 percent
Decibel consistency
Infinite
Human dignity loss
Too high
Average growl pitch
Your severance
A squeaky toy and one bag of kibble.
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