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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Capital Modeller jobs? · Latest report #xjb2pwbh
Your job has an expiration date
December 16, 2027
In 14 monthsPredicting total economic collapse via Excel is a hobby, not a career.
Professional spreadsheet architect and logic-gap masquerader.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Quantifying risk without the human existential dread.
split.you▸ STOCHASTIX-9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
collapses your entire risk profile in seconds
You build complex financial simulations to estimate capital adequacy and solvency requirements. You spend your life debugging nested IF statements and praying your assumptions hold.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still defend your wildly optimistic growth assumptions to a skeptical board member.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Direct API connectors replace the manual copy-pasting of legacy financial data into workbooks.
Month 3
Automated auditing agents identify and purge circular references and logic errors in your models.
Month 6
Cloud-based parallel processing runs 10,000 Monte Carlo iterations before you finish your coffee.
Month 9
Generative agents draft compliant, board-ready risk reports based on live model output.
Month 14 · D-Day
The system assumes full control of capital allocation decisions without human oversight or panic.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.3%
4:1
Coffee-to-spreadsheet ratio
Daily
Circular reference incidents
Infinite
P-values hallucinated
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to Excel Solver, non-transferable.
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