Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Carbon Management Analyst jobs? · Latest report #qqt346gk
Your job has an expiration date
April 14, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsTurning your spreadsheets into a nice, tidy, automated death sentence.
Professional guilt-counter and amateur spreadsheet wrangler.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Emissions tracking without the human existential dread.
splat.you▸ CARBONVAULT ZERO-AGENT▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
calculates your entire carbon footprint instantly
You spend all day tracking emissions data in Excel to make companies feel slightly less guilty about existence.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still find the one weird typo that crashes the entire model.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors and web-scrapers pull utility data directly from vendor portals.
Month 3
AI models clean your messy CSVs faster than you can open Excel.
Month 7
Natural language generators draft the sustainability reports without your tedious input.
Month 12
Predictive models detect emission spikes before they even hit your screen.
Month 18 · D-Day
The system runs itself and your credentials are deleted for efficiency.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.1%
42
Spreadsheets per week
30
Hours spent reconciling CSVs
0.04%
Guilt-offsetting efficacy
Your severance
A carbon-neutral PDF certificate of your own redundancy.
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